Mountain Mud Pepper Pie: My Baking Adventure with Ophelia
Fun lighthearted story for the holidays. Has nothing to do with business.
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A Quick Trip to the Grocery Store with a Doxie is Never Quick
If you've never taken a Doxie grocery shopping, let's just say, you should block out the entire afternoon. You'll be there a while.
I am so relieved that Ophelia is back that I mostly don't even mind that I’m currently pushing a shopping cart through the grocery store with her perched in the front seat like a toddler as she excitedly clutches her glitter encrusted shopping list like it was a treasure map.
"Can I see the list so I know what aisles we need to go down?"
"You mean you want to skip some?" Ophelia said wide eyed.
"Why would we go down aisles of stuff we don't need?"
"I thought it was a rule. You start at the beginning and wind your way up and down every aisle until you get to the end. How else will we know what we need until we see it?" she said in earnest.
"Seriously?" she asked raising an eyebrow.
"Besides, who knows what treasures might be lurking in the baking section? Or—gasp!—the seasonal aisle!”
I chuckled and reached for the list. Everything is an adventure with Ophelia.
Shopping List:
dried mountain dirt, moo juice, pepper pieces, crumbly crust, cloud fluff
I finished reading the list and just stared at Ophelia.
"What?" she quipped, grabbing her list back.
"I don’t think we can get most of this stuff here. I'm not sure it's edible either."
"Of course we can get it here. I always get it here."
I eyed her skeptically, "If you say so. I guess we're going down every aisle then. Tell me when to stop."
Against my better judgment, we wound through every aisle, Ophelia cheerfully tossing things into the cart with no regard for my list—or the laws of physics. Eventually, we left with pudding mix, milk, Andes Mints, Cool Whip, and a pie crust, among other things I didn’t remember approving.
Mud Slides, Explosions and a Pie
Eventually, we found everything she was looking for and made our way down to the Business Witch Academy kitchens, Ophelia chattering excitedly the entire way. Boy, I missed her. The moment we entered, she fluttered over to the counter and began setting up her ingredients with the enthusiasm of a small child making, well, actual mud pies!
"First things first!" Ophelia declared, holding up the plastic top from the crumbly crust like it was the most powerful artifact in the room. “We must prepare the Dome of Protection. Without it, rocking-horse flies could swoop in and ruin everything!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Rocking-horse flies? Are they... a real problem?” I asked while rinsing the lid as instructed.
“Do you really want to find out?” she retorted. “Just wash it and set it aside. Trust me. The dome is non-negotiable.”
With the dome drying, Ophelia turned her attention to the bag of shiny green pepper bars. "Help me unwrap these," she said handing me half the bag.
As we unwrapped chocolate mint after chocolate mint, I asked, "Why do you call these pepper bars? They aren't peppers or even peppery."
"Of course they are! They're pepper-minty and choc-o-late," she mumbled as she shoved the last one in her mouth. “Now for my favorite part—smashing the peppers!” “This,” she said dramatically, pulling out a glowing green acorn, “is how you smash pepper bars the right way.”
“Ophelia,” I said cautiously, watching her bounce the acorn in her claws, “is that what I think it is?"
"This?" she said holding up the acorn. "It's one of my infamous Magical Residue-Free Exploding Acorns."
“Ophelia, no. Not in my kitchen—”
But she’d already tossed the mints into a cauldron, followed by the acorn. BOOM! Green shards rained down into the cauldron, glinting like precious jewels.
“Perfect!” Ophelia cheered, scooping up a handful of minty shards. “Not too dusty! Now we hide the treasure.” She carefully sprinkled half of the shards into the bottom of the crumbly crust, patting them down like she was tucking them in for a long nap.
“Treasure hidden. Next step: Reanimate the Dirt!” She handed me a large bowl.
“Pudding,” I corrected, trying to keep some semblance of normalcy and emptied the two packages into the bowl.
“Mountain dirt,” she insisted, pouring in the moo juice. “Now, mix it until it’s thick and gooey!”
I whisked furiously, watching the mixture thicken into what could only be described as chocolate lava.
“Excellent mud consistency,” Ophelia said approvingly, peering over my shoulder.
“Now, bury the treasure!”
She guided me as I poured the chocolate mud into the crust, burying the minty shards beneath the gooey surface. Then, with a flourish, she sprinkled the remaining shards on top.
“X marks the spot!” she exclaimed, placing the dome of protection over the top. “Now we chill it. Three hours should do the trick. Enough time for a victory dance and maybe a nap!”
The Masterpiece
As the pie chilled in the ice box, Ophelia attempted said victory dance, which mostly involved twirling and knocking over a stack of bowls. Then she tripped, landing inside the largest bowl and promptly fell sound asleep. I didn't have the heart to disturb her, I tiptoed around her bowl and cleaned up the rest of our mess.
When the pie was finally ready, we dolloped it with fluffy clouds—Cool Whip, I silently corrected—and sliced into it.
"Wow, Ophelia! I have to admit, I had my doubts, but you were right—this the most delicious chocolate mint pudding pie I've ever had!" I said, wiping a bit of chocolate pudding off my chin.
Ophelia puffed out her little chest as she proudly surveyed the remains of the pie on the table. “I told you! It’s the perfect mix of gooey and minty and chocolatey. A true masterpiece!” Ophelia beamed, licking pudding off her claws.
"Masterpiece is right," I reply, leaning back in my chair, completely satisfied. "Can we share your recipe with the rest of the students at the Business Witch Academy?"
Ophelia perked up, her wings fluttering with excitement. "Oh yes! Everyone should experience the joy of Mountain Mud Pepper Pie! But you have to write it exactly how I told you. Otherwise, it’s not the same."
I hesitated, recalling the chaos of trying to decipher her "magical" ingredient list. "Ophelia, I don’t think we can give them that list. They'll never find the right stuff at the store if you call pudding 'mountain dirt' or milk 'moo juice.' They’ll come back with mud pies, and not the tasty kind."
Ophelia huffed, crossing her arms and flicking her tail. "But I can never remember what's on the package. I just know what they look like when I'm in the store. Besides, if you change the names of the ingredients it sounds so boring! Why would anyone want to eat something with such dull names when they could be scooping Fluffy Clouds?"
I give her a patient look. "Well, I see your point, but if the students don’t know what to buy, they won’t be able to make your masterpiece at all. How about this: we can include your version of the recipe and a practical one so they can decode it at the store?"
Ophelia thinks for a moment, her claws tapping on the table. "Hmm. Fine. But the explosions are half the fun!"
Mountain Mud Pepper Pie: The Legend, the Chaos, and the Return of Ophelia!
This is Ophelia’s take on the same day Cheryl shares above. If you enjoyed Cheryl’s story, then you’ll also enjoy Ophelia’s take on the whole adventure.
From the Brilliant and Slightly Explosive Mind of Ophelia
Oh my stars, magical friends, Ophelia here! I have SO much to tell you! Where do I even start? Do I tell you about my accidental time hop (again) or the chaos that is my business? My to-do list exploded in my absence while my business ground to a screeching halt! (Spoiler: I’m still panicking about it.) Or maybe the pie?
Mountain Mud Pepper Pie Recipe (Original)
From the Magical Kitchen of Ophelia
Mountain Mud Pepper Pie Recipe (Translation)
From the Magical Kitchen of Ophelia, Translation by Cheryl.wTf
Get the Translated Recipe here!
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Stay Magical,
Cheryl
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