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Can we talk about the dirty little secret nobody tells you about Substack.
Not the algorithms.
Not the monetization.
The images.
That’s right. The banners, the previews, the thumbnails—the visual graveyard where beautiful design goes to die.
Now you know, I am a big fan of Substack. I host several publications there myself, I've helped my client get started on Substack and I'm even run a workshop on it next week. But like any platform, it has it's quirks.
Has this ever happened to you? You spend 45 minutes in Canva conjuring up the perfect image.
Your colors? On point.
Your layout? Gorgeous.
Your face? Flawless.
You hit publish, share that post on social, and BAM—
Substack crops it like it’s got beef with beauty.
Suddenly your face is gone.
Your headline is MIA.
And instead of a polished brand asset, 1988 is calling asking for their ASCII image back!
So if you've ever spent 45 minutes designing the perfect Substack post image—only to have Substack slice, dice, and crop it into something that looks like it fell down a staircase?
Yeah. This episode’s for you.
I don't know about you but I've wasted hours trying to fix my damn images. Re-uploading, resizing, guessing and second-guessing until I finally threw my hands in the air and went “Whatever. It’s good enough.”
But it’s not good enough.
So Today, we’re tackling one of the sneakiest saboteurs of your content game:
💀 Crappy. Cropped. Substack. Images.
(And how to fix them without losing your mind—or your brand.)
💀 Are you sick of grinding yourself into dust with traditional business advice?
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It’s the support of readers like you, that keep our doors open & the magic flowing!
Here’s how:
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🧠 Here’s What’s Actually Happening
Substack doesn’t have one layout—it has several.
Each one crops your images differently depending on whether someone’s seeing it on:
The homepage
The post page
The email
The mobile version
Or cue evil music—depending on the settings you unwittingly selected in your dashboard!
Some are cropped in columns, others into thumbnails, some square, some widescreen, some so small you wonder why they even bother.
Most of these are center-cropped, which means anything near the edges? Bye-bye. Unless you toggled that one little switch in the settings to "Smart Cropping", whatever that means! Who decided this was smart anyway? Measured against what? A potato?
And the dimensions they give you? They're technically correct but practically useless unless you know how they behave in the wild.
So that beautiful layout you made in Canva?
Substack takes it, slices it like a pizza, and serves your elbow as the appetizer.
So even if you upload the “right” size, it might still look wrong in one or more places.
It’s not your fault. It’s the system.
And Then There’s the Upload Process
Maybe you’ve:
Tried to add a custom email header and it looked fine in Gmail but doesn't show up on the web version.
Seen these amazing Welcome Page images on other people's Substacks but for the life of you, you can't figure out how they got it there because your Welcome page editor doesn't edit!
Tried to add your logo or wordmark only to realize you have no idea what a "wordmark" even is.
You’re not alone.
🔥 I Got Mad… Then I Got Strategic
Next week, I’m teaching a room full of Substack newbies how to brand their publications.
And there was NO way I was showing up with my own page looking like a cursed Myspace layout and giant question mark hanging ominously over my head like the Wiley Coyote!
So I did what any high-functioning Autistic special interest-fueled business witch high on ADHD curiosity would do.
I went full nerd.
I crawled in and out of Reddit groups like an ant on a mission.
I waded through droves of Substack posts from so-called Substack experts.
And I fast forwarded through dozens of boring YouTube videos claiming to have solved the problem only to have them talk about something totally unrelated.
In the end, I came up empty handed. But fear not my fellow Business Witch! My adventure did not end there. If I cannot find treasure, I will conjure it!
So, I did the very thing I've built an entire career on. I ran the numbers, conducted some experiments, and did all the hard work so that you don't have to!
I started collecting screenshots. Comparing crops. Testing different ratios. Uploading every image type Substack allows and watching what broke and what worked.
And…I cracked the code!
Then I documented the hell out of it. That's right, like only a life-long technical writer can…I took screenshots, drew in big red boxes and lovely directional arrows, added text and created a step-by-step guide that will take you through every image set up you could possibly need.
But teaching you how just isn't enough. That's not the way to brew up Business Magic like only a Business Witch knows how.
It's not magic unless I've made it EASY for you!
🧰 I Built This Kit For You
So I got to work in Canva and created templates just for you! Because, news flash, Canva doesn't offer built in Substack templates!
And I packaged up the whole enchilada, that so polishing your Substack into a Shining Jewel ripe for a dragon's treasure hoard is so easy that it feels like Magic!
A complete guide to every Substack image type, layout, and crop (with screenshots).
A Canva template with the Ultimate Safe Zone—so your images look amazing no matter where they show up.
Pre-sized templates for banners, logos, and welcome pages.
A short video tutorial for my visual witches.
And a full deep-dive bonus guide if you wanna geek out on all the ratios and rules.
No more guesswork. No more re-uploading 12 versions of the same image.
No more hot mess previews.
Just clean, strategic, click-worthy visuals.
✨Grab it here! ✨
🎁 And if you're joining my Substack Workshop Launch Sequence Activated, you’ll get it for FREE.
🎯 But Before You Go…
Let me share three quick truths that’ll save you HOURS of image agony:
1. Center your magic.
Put faces, headlines, logos—anything critical—dead center. Substack crops from the middle out. Edges are the danger zone. (Unless you've turned on "Smart Cropping". Then…well…good luck, may the AI Gods be with you!)
2. Know your purpose
A Welcome Page image should invite. A Post Image should hook. A Banner should reinforce. Don’t use the same layout and graphics for all three.
3. Always preview before you publish.
On desktop. On mobile. On email. Share a draft with yourself and see what gets chopped. Trust me, it’ll save you from embarrassment later.
4. A Word about Wordmarks
This is just a fancy way of saying the name of your publication, in image form, slapped across the top center of your screen. You upload it in the Settings > Website section.
💬 Final Spell of the Day
Your words matter.
Your visuals should match that energy.
Because if your post looks janky, people assume your content is too. Unfair? Yes. But true.
So if you’re ready to look like you’ve got a design team—even if your “team” is you, a Canva account, and caffeine—this kit is your new secret weapon.
You don’t need a degree in graphic design.
You just need a strategy that respects your brilliance and stops letting Substack crop you out of the frame.
And if you need more help with getting your Substack set up, join me for my Substack Workshop, "Launch Sequence Activated." and get this image guide and template set absolutely free!
Alright witches, that’s it for today, I'm Cheryl, head at the Business Witch Academy.
🧙♀️ Go audit your last few posts. Look at those images. Ask yourself:
Are they elevating your message—or sabotaging it?
Then fix it.
Until next time—stay powerful, design smart, and remember:
Your brilliance deserves better framing.
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Stay Magical,
Cheryl
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